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stream of consciousness
3rd August, 2007. 11:20 am. ...
you don't need to see this post
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20th April, 2007. 9:49 am. the writer's idea book
page 8, 1st prompt
list the positive messages you have received about writing or about any creative undertaking. what did people say? how did they say it? then write about times when you felt good about your writing, such as when a great idea zipped thru your mind or when you finished a project that turned out well. keep these messages and memories handy. when you're feeling stale or want to berate yourself about your work, read about what you've done in the past and know you can do it again.
In high school, when I was in Creative Writing, we had to sit in a circle and go around the room and read what we wrote for the assigned project. After we read, everyone else would write their honest opinions, criticisms and general comments on anonymous slips of paper and they would be passed around to us. I never received a negative comment on anything I wrote in that class.
When we were discussing what kind of content to put into his fanclub newsletter, Rikki called me a "creative genius" and then indicated what kind of writing and articles he wanted me to contribute.
My friends and family have always received my writing warmly and enthusiastically -- but they might be a little biased.
Woody has always enjoyed my writing, he's always been honest about it, what he liked what he didn't like. He's always encouraged me, and noticed when I stopped writing.
x-posted to randomly chaotic and frequently mundane
14th April, 2007. 8:41 pm. writer's idea book
page 45, 1st prompt
list the top 10 experiences in your life -- top meaning significant. wondrous. glorious. terrible. illuminating. demoralizing. jubilant. ten of course is an arbitrary number. but start there. think about it for a moment, letting your mind roam free, keeping your pen on the page. there's no penalty for going beyond ten, ut if you do, cut to ten when you review he list. stop reading now and make your list.
number one would have to be the birth of my son. gage is the light and joy of my life. i didn't know i was capable of such tremendous joy and love until he was born.
two is the first time woody told me he loves me. it filled me with bliss and made me drop to my knees and tremble with joy.
three is the trip from new jersey to colorado. it was filled with ridiculous events that would have torn a lesser couple apart, but i thought it made us stronger. we spent those days together, traveling, laughing, talking... and the nights were spent in his embace.
four has been happening for the better part of a year... woody abandoning me and gage, trying to decide what he wants, taking up with another woman and spending time with her children instead of his own son. sometimes acting as if he wants to be with us forever... sometimes acting as if he wants nothing to do with us.
five was woody's mom telling me that his grandmother wanted me to have her tea set. i was moved to be accepted as a family member in that way.
six was gage's first year of school... my little boy is growing up and there's nothing i can do about it.
seven was the day that gage was diagnosed with autism. a few of my dreams died that day... but more were born. autism doesn't change who he is, or how much i love him, but it was a life altering moment in my life.
eight was having a photo pass at a poison concert to take photos to accompany my interview with rikki in throat culture.
nine was the day i had to quit college so that i could work fulltime. dreams died that day.
ten was the day that sisser and i had to be "rescued" from virginia by our parents. a lesson in humility and swallowing our pride came that day.
13th April, 2007. 11:15 pm. writer's idea book
page 49, 1st prompt
you are afflicted with a rare (and getting rarer) disease in which you can only tell the truth, the whole truth. now, introduce yourself to someone you don't know -- on the page, of course. explain to the stranger who you are. go into detail. tell your life story if you have to. the stranger is fictitious and will listen intently for hours.
have you heard the lindsay haun song broken? that's me. broken. a million little pieces. when i was younger i related quite a bit to the character eponine in les miserables. she loves marius passionately, she does as he asks and in the end she lays down her life for him. and yet he doesn't love her in return. she loves, yet never knows what it is to be loved. i used to believe that i would live that life. loved but not loved in return. then i met woody... and he loved me. passionately, intensely. we were in love, happy, wrapped up in each other and our family. and then he took that love away. no... that's not right. he loves me still. he just doesn't care to be with me. so i'm struggling with that. right now that's a lot of who i am. 6 years ago he asked me to promise that no matter how hard things got that i wouldn't give up on us. i promised and i have yet to break that promise. i'm loyal and loving and passionate. now, in addition to trying to cope with that, i'm very dedicated to my son, who is autistic and is absolutely the light and joy in my life. when i have incredibly bad days, i hold him close and it gives me hope.
i used to be confident and outgoing. but i don't have any of that left. i've been wrung out. i'm not a whole person, but i am a hopeful person.
10th April, 2007. 11:08 pm. writer's idea book
page 57, first prompt
write about something you really dislike. here's your chance to blast it. go for the jugular on this one
there's a creature down the road. some people call it a woman. i call it a whore. a slunt, which is a combination of slut and cunt. the kind of woman who will smile to your face while stabbing you in the back. i truly dislike her. if it wasn't bad enough that she doesn't know how to keep her legs closed, she had the nerve to beg me (sobbing, no less) not to take my son away from her. excuse me? he's my son, honey. you have no right and no claim to him. and if i have anything to say about it, you'll never be blessed with his incredibly charming presence again. i might not be able to do anything about his dad keeping company with you, but i do have say in whether or not my son has your stink on him.
6th April, 2007. 11:01 pm. writer's idea book page 8, 2nd prompt
acknowledge that writing is hard. write it down. then write about how your'e going to make writing happen. how will you find the balance in yourself to combine willpower with relaxation, stubborness with joy? write about how you've struck this balance in the past, with writing, a sport a musical instrument -- anything you've done.
writing is hard.
sometimes it's harder than others, especially since i write with my emotions and sometimes my emotions aren't very conducive of prolific writing. fortunately my current emotional state is very conducive to writing, which means that i am. at the moment i make myself sit down at least once a week and put down a thousand words or more relating to what i'm feeling and what i'm thinking. so far, that's all i do to find the balance.
29th March, 2007. 1:31 pm. writer's idea book
page 25, 1st prompt
write about the most creative person you've ever known. explain why you feel she is so creative, offering examples of her creative accomplishments
the most creative person i've ever known, hands down, is my brother jared. he's brilliant. he's a great artist, graphic designer, photographer and he's been known to come up with some incredibly funny skits. he can dance, he can sew and create clothing. i'm proud that one testament to his creativity is a portrait of me. a lifesize portrait of me sitting on a beach at night -- there's a beautiful moon in the background with the ocean rolling in and the trappings of a ritual in the foreground. why's it so creatively brilliant? because i was sitting on his bed when he drew it. the only item in the drawing that was in front of him when he drew that portrait was me. the beach was 45 minutes away. another example of his brilliance is a sculpture of a tree that is also a woman that he created. essentially, it's a dryad although i don't know if he ever realized that. he found the perfect materials, and it's so well crafted that his alma mater asked if they could keep it for permanent display. my brother has inspired me more than once.
13th March, 2007. 11:28 pm. the writer's idea book...
i read this awhile back and really liked the prompts. so i'm flipping randomly through the book and blogging the prompts as an exercise to help get me back into writing frequently and well.
some of the posts might come to be quite personal and/or emotional. some might just be utter ridiculousness. but at least i'll be writing, yes?
4th March, 2007. 7:22 pm.
ok... most of it is mediocre at best... and i know that. but it's a nice exercise to force myself to write a couple of times a week and try to get back to my former writing glory. comments welcome, and they don't have to be of the ass kissing nature. honesty is nice. seriously.
7th February, 2007. 9:30 pm. why not?
so far i've submitted 10 articles. 3 have been approved. 2 of those were submitted for non-payment. the other 7 are pending approval for payment. feel free to check em out...